


It's Been Four Days

by therearenousernameleft



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, I know this is a week late, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15521259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therearenousernameleft/pseuds/therearenousernameleft
Summary: The four days where Raven was angry with Shaw.





	It's Been Four Days

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing except my mistakes (probably too many of those). All the characters belong to the respective creators.

****It's Been Four Days** **

Day 1

_That stupid idiot._

_That fucking moron._

These were the only two thoughts that were in her mind ever since they returned back to the cave. She refused to talk to him or look at him. But unfortunately, she couldn't stop thinking about him and then cursing him. He could have gotten himself captured. Hurt. Or worse, killed. Did he not understand that he was the one they were searching for.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

_Then stop thinking about him._

With a start, she realized that for some godforsaken reason she couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Thinking about the what-ifs that were going through her mind. All ending horribly.

But it didn't. She reminded herself. He had saved them. And then she remembered his smile, his self-satisfied smile, and she found her anger flaring up again.

What if they had hurt him while fighting? Two. There were two of them and only him. At that moment did he even consider that he could have gotten himself hurt too. She groaned in frustration. She wanted to yell at him. Punch him. Do something, but instead, she chose to ignore him.

She shouldn't be caring about whether he lived or died.

_So why do you?_

She didn't know, and it bothered her.

"Raven." His voice dragged her back to reality. Once again, she felt her temper spike. She didn't look at him and left as fast as her damned leg could take her. She was in no mood to talk to him. Especially since he was hell-bent on getting himself captured or worse.

_Why do you care?_ A voice in the back of her mind asked her again.

She didn't know. She didn't know, and that was what scared her the most.

*

Day 2

There was blood. So much blood. It seemed to shine against the snow. Her heart was thundering as she searched for its source, deep down knowing who it belonged to.

She felt a sob building in her chest. Why didn't he listen to her? Why? Why didn't he understand? She felt the tear roll down her cheek as every single sound around her quieted. The only sound was her breathing and her heart pounding against her chest.

There was a dark figure lying in the middle of the pool of blood. It wasn't moving. A sob wrenched out of her chest. Her legs were moving faster than they had in years, and they didn't hurt. Because all her focus was on the person lying there.

Her heart was beating almost painfully now. She knew what she was about to see. She willed herself to change it, but she couldn't. She dropped to her knees beside him, tears flowing freely down her face. Her hands were shaking as she turned him.

_Why couldn't you have just stayed?_

She woke up with a start. She was drenched in sweat. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm her racing heart, but it was of no use. Her eyes, as if they had a mind of their own, were searching for him, knowing what she needed.

She saw the bottle of water before she saw him. His hands, warm, _and alive _,__ she reminded herself, were on her back as he pressed the bottle against her lips.

She wanted to smack the bottle away but didn't. She needed to know this was real. That he was here. That they were here. After a few gulps, she set the bottle down. His hand was still on her back, moving gently. And she finally felt herself relax. Her heart went back to its familiar rhythm.

"Are you okay?" He asked, worried.

She turned her face, and laid back down, but did not answer him. She pressed her eyes shut. What was happening? She felt the same question nagging her again.

_Why do you care?_

She knew why, but she didn't want to admit it to herself. She ignored him, the voice at the back of her mind, everything.

After a while, she heard him sigh.

"I'm not going to apologize for saving your life, Raven." He said. He sounded tired. Defeated.

She still didn't turn. Her mind was reeling. With one final sigh, he left. She wasn't sure if she felt better or not.

*

Day 3

"Are you ever going to forgive him?" Murphy asked, sitting in front of her.

She was tinkering with the walkie-talkie, it wasn’t working properly. She didn't pay any attention to him. It wasn't the first time Murphy tried to talk to her about him. And like always she ignored him. Instead, twisting the small screw way harder than it was necessary.

"He did save our lives, you know." He spoke calmly.

She was one sentence away from throwing the stupid screwdriver at his head. Instead, she concentrated on paying attention to her work. She didn't want to think about him. She only needed to see him. To know for sure that he was okay. That he wasn't going to run away again and get himself in danger.

_Why? Why do you do that? Why do you feel the need to see if he is alive or not? If he is near or not?_

She ignored these questions too. If she admitted it to herself, then it would be real. And she wasn't ready to face real. They were about to go to war. They could die.

"I think it's fixed, Raven." She heard Murphy saying softly as he gently pried the walkie-talkie from her hand.

He looked over her shoulder and sighed. She turned and saw that he was staring at her. He looked sad. She turned back, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Listen, I know I'm obviously no expert on this, but you guys obviously need to talk," Murphy said scratching his head. She glared at him. He raised his hands in surrender. "Just a suggestion."

She didn't want to talk about it with him or hear anyone else talking about it, for that matter. So she got up and moved towards the exit.

She was staring at the night sky when she felt him behind her, and all she could think about was her dream. All that blood and him lying lifeless in the pool of his own blo- she stopped herself. She felt a lump in her throat and her eyes prickled with tears.

"Raven, will you-"

She raised her hand before he could finish his sentence. She needed to get her emotions in order.

He sighed. "I'm not going to apologize for saving your life, Raven." He repeated what he said last night.

A sob threatened to escape her lips, and she pursued her lips hard. She tried to tell herself that she didn’t care.

_You are lying. You've never been a liar, Raven._

"I'm sorry that you are angry with me." He whispered quietly. "Because I miss you." He said so softly that she almost missed it.

Her heart clenched. She almost turned then. But stopped herself. She could feel his hand hovering over her shoulder. She held her breath. But his hand never made contact with her shoulder. She heard his footsteps retreating back, and she let out the sob that she had been holding.

*

Day 4

They were going to go to war in a couple of days, and she still hadn't spoken a single word to him. The only thing she did was look at him when he wasn't looking. To assure herself that he was alive.

_Why does it matter if he was alive?_

It just did. She just didn't want to admit it.

Her eyes once again searched for him. She felt panic gripping her heart when she couldn't see him. She hurriedly walked towards where she saw him last, with Kane and Diyoza. Where was he? Did McCreary and his men- No. She stopped her train of thought. Because if she started to think about that she was going to unravel and she cannot unravel if she wanted to find him.

"He went with Murphy to bring us some wood for the fire," Emori said gently, patting her shoulder.

She could lie. She could say that she wasn't searching for him. But she didn't want to. She nodded thankfully.

"He was-" Emori started.

"I know." She said softly. It was the first time she had said anything about it.

Emori gave her shoulder another squeeze and guided her to sit near the cave entrance, placing herself beside her. They didn't say a single word, and she was grateful for that.

Her eyes were glued to the entrance. Her heart was racing. A storm of thoughts was going through her mind. Before she could drown herself in what-ifs, she saw him. He was okay. She released the breath she didn't know she was holding.

His eyes met hers. Something flickered in his eyes, and she knew. She knew how she felt. Clearer than ever before.

*

Day 5

She was leaning against the tree, trying her best not to look at him because she was going to break if she did. They were about to go to war, and she felt the time was slipping away from her fingers like sand. There was so much she wanted to say to him, to know about him, and now who knew what tomorrow held. For all they know, they might be dead tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. She drew in a shaky breath.

She saw him, in her peripheral vision, approaching her. He extended something towards her. She looked away.

"It's been four days." He said, and she continued to look at nothing. Something inside her was nudging her to look at him, but she didn't. He continued. And it took all of her self-control to not look at him. It wasn't until she saw him turn that all her senses came to life. It may be their last day. She may never see him again. He would always think that she was angry with him. She needed to tell him the truth. He deserved to hear it. They deserved it.

There was no hesitation when she grabbed his jacket. No hesitation when she pulled him closer to her and kissed him. Her mind suddenly quieted. All the worry surrounding her mind seemed like a distant noise. It was only him and her.

She drew back. Her lips tingled. It felt familiar, his touch. It felt new, the way he made her feel. His lips were parted, his eyes had darkened.

"I'm not mad at you for saving my life." She said softly. Then she finally said the words that she was afraid to admit, or say out loud, even to herself. Especially to herself. "I'm mad at you for making me care about yours."

He was looking at her intently, and so many emotions crossed his face that she couldn't keep count. The one that settled something in her was the one in his eyes. It made her feel warm. It made her feel like everything was going to be okay. It made her feel safe. Loved.

"Understand." She added, her voice barely over a whisper.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you guys think?  
> I wanted to write this after 5x11, but couldn't. Then last night I finally wrote this. I really hope you liked it<3  
> Again, I'm sorry for all my mistakes. Thank you so much for reading <3 <3


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